Do you ever feel that your brain missed the memo on positive thinking?

Everyone is out in the world posting inspirational quotes, “good vibes only”, and just think positive vibes while you’re out here just trying to survive the mental rollercoaster of “what if everything goes wrong today…. Again?”

Yeah.  I feel you.  My brain is the same.  It runs on chaos and doesn’t take a moment to slow down.

Positive thinking sounds great, but when you live with anxiety (hi, and welcome to the anxious ladies’ club!) those cheerful affirmations and positive vibes can feel about as effective as shouting at a tornado. 

Anxiety doesn’t care if you have read every self help book on the planet.  It’s too busy creating worst-case scenarios in the exclusive movie called your life.

Here’s the good news: you’re not broken or impossible to deal with.  You’re not bad at being positive.  Your anxious brain has rewired itself to help you try to survive. And your brain needs a different approach.  One that doesn’t have you ignoring your brain’s delicate warning system or pretending everything is fine when you feel chaos spiraling inside a panic mode ice cream sundae topped with run for the hills sprinkles.

That’s where the Act Method comes in.  No, it’s not magic and not the latest TikTok trend.  It stands for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and it’s a gentle way to build a healthier mindset while learning to accept and face your fears.

Let’s be real.  Life with anxiety disorder is already challenging enough.  Feeling positive when you’re facing your fears doesn’t need to be harder than life already is.  Let’s make positive thinking feel a little less scary (and maybe even a little fun). 

Welcome to the WLM guide to the Act Method for Positive thinking.

Understanding Why Intrusive Thoughts Happen in Anxiety Disorder

Maybe you have had thoughts like these:

• Why am I like this? I just can’t relax.
• Why can’t I do things right?
• Nobody loves someone who can’t think positively.
• If I don’t relax and focus, I’ll get fired.
• My partner deserves better than a wife who overthinks everything.
• My mental health is a burden to everyone I meet.
• Everyone I know hates me.
• I wish I had a different brain.  My life would be so much easier.

Intrusive thoughts are the bane of women with anxiety and depression.  Yes, you can be both depressed and an anxious mess.  –I know first hand just how debilitating anxiety disorder is.-

If you are having suicidal or homicidal thoughts, please contact your Mental Health Care team, local Emergency Department, or the USA 988 hotline. These thoughts are not normal and warrant IMMEDIATE treatment. You can find mental health hotline numbers on the resource page. Please take care of yourself. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Let’s talk about those intrusive thoughts that pop into your brain just like uninvited guests that refuse to leave.

Here’s the truth: your thoughts, especially the anxious and catastrophic ones, are often just chemical reactions that are happening inside your body.

When you are stressed, your brain signals to your body to release hormones like cortisol and adrenaline to prepare you to do something- aka, the “fight or flight” response. 

In prehistoric times, that response was essential to our survival.  Think saber-toothed tigers, life threatening weather, and the lack of google resources to search “is this poisonous?”.

Today, our brains are still hitting that panic button, even when the “danger” is just a long line at Target, an awkward conversation with your boss, or a fight with your kids about eating their vegetables.

Why am I telling you this? Because realizing that your brain is lying to you is the first step in changing those nasty little impulses and negative thoughts into a more positive mindset.

According to Harvard Health, this stress response “was designed to protect us, but when it’s constantly triggered, it can wear down the body and mind.”

Harvard Health

In short, your brain is lying to you.  And not because it’s mean.  But because it’s primitive.

Your brain hasn’t caught up with modern life.  It doesn’t know the difference between a bear attack and a traffic jam.  Your brain’s job is to keep you safe, so it treats both like emergencies.

Here’s what that looks like:

• Feeling panicked over tight deadlines.
• Snapping during Thanksgiving preparations because your to do list is too long.
• Road rage because you feel trapped in traffic.
• Avoiding vulnerability in relationships because it feels safer to push people away.

None of these are life threatening, but your nervous system doesn’t know that. 

The brain floods the body with stress hormones anyway, and that flood leads to negative thoughts, impulsive reactions, and even suicidal thoughts.  It’s your brain’s warning system in action.

💡 Fun fact: Getting out of a long checkout line because you’re frustrated? That’s a flight response. Snapping at someone when you’re overwhelmed? Fight response.

Your Negative Thoughts Are Not Facts

Here is a big mindset shift for you: You are NOT your thoughts.

Your brain might shout, “This is too much!” or “I can’t handle this!, but that doesn’t make it true.

The magic happens when you see the warning signs and take a moment to pause, breathe, and ask yourself: Am I in real danger, or am I just stressed?  How can I better care for myself in this moment?

Just like at a railroad crossing, your body signals to alert you to stop and take a minute to assess before you progress. 

This is where the ACT Method (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) really shines. 

It helps you:

• Accept your thoughts without judging them.
• Create opportunities to grow and care for yourself.
• Make values based choices instead of stress induced ones.

This is how you move from reactive to proactive…. From overwhelmed and stressed to intentional and mindful choices.

What is the ACT Method?

After experiencing trauma(s), my life became a whirlwind of panic and fear. 

I became a regular at my local ER for a racing heart rate, sometimes well into the high 190s.  I was sure my heart was going to explode.

It became such a consistent problem that I spent 6 months with cardiology just to be diagnosed, yup you guessed it, anxiety disorder. 

With the support of a psychiatrist and therapist, I tried all their tips and tricks to get things under control, but my panic attacks persisted.  They grew so intense that I developed agoraphobia.  I avoided crowds, stores, and pretty much everything and anyone that put my nervous system on high alert.

At the same time, I was volunteering as a foster parent and positive reinforcement dog trainer to anxious dogs. 

I was helping these fearful pups work through their anxiety and build their confidence using gentle, compassionate training methods filled with small steps, positive associations to triggers, and LOADS of patience. 

And one day it hit me:

What if I used the same approach on myself?

That is how my version of the ACT Method was born.

Inspired by positive reinforcement dog training and rooted in psychology (for people), A.C.T stands for:

• A- Anticipate Your Stressors
• C- Create Safe Opportunities for Growth
• T- Train Your Brain with Positive Reinforcement

This method isn’t about “faking it until you make it” or ignoring your feelings.  It’s about gently preparing your body and your brain to face triggers in manageable, compassionate steps- exactly like I do for reactive and anxious dogs.

And guess what? Just like anxious pups, our brains can form new, positive associations with things that used to feel scary.

Desensitization therapy, when done safely and intentionally, is how we retrain our nervous system and reduce the intensity of anxiety responses over time.

You don’t have to “get over it”, “push through it” or “white knuckle” it.

The ACT Method gives you a gentle plan to help your mind and body feel safer so you can learn to work with your triggers aka stressors- and that is where true growth begins.

What Does ACT Stand For?

A.C.T. = Anticipate + Create + Train

Each step builds on the other to help you:

• Understand your triggers
• Create safer, manageable ways to face them
• Train your brain to respond with calm, clarity, and confidence

Let’s break down each step and how to actually do it in your daily life.

📝 Grab Your Free ACT Method Worksheet!

Want to make the A.C.T. Method even easier to practice? I created a free printable worksheet to help you map out your stressors, break down your growth steps, and track your thinking habits.

It’s simple, calming, and made with love 💛—perfect to pin to your fridge, tuck in your journal, or keep on your nightstand for gentle guidance.

Now that you have your own cheat sheet, let’s discuss the steps of the ACT Method for Positive Thinking.

The 3 Steps of the Act Method

Now that you know what A.C.T stands for, let’s break it down and talk about how to use them in real life. 

These aren’t just ideas- they’re positive thinking exercises for anxiety you can try today to calm your mind and retraining your brain. 

Step 1: Anticipate- Learn how to Identify Your Stressors

Let’s be real.  When stress shows up, your brain doesn’t hand you a calm action plan.  It hits the alarm bell and your body’s firefighters, aka those stress hormones, start responding to your personal emergency.

Your body spins up and starts those pesky “what if” thoughts like it’s casting you in your own personal disaster movie. 

But here’s the thing- your brain isn’t broken.  In fact, your brain loves you so much, it’s doing whatever it can to protect you, including crying wolf at the most inappropriate times. 

It’s using the flight and fight response to keep you safe.  And the harder it cries, the more it’s crying out for help from perceived dangers, real or inconvenient.

Learning to anticipate your triggers, you can create a simple stress management plan that helps you stay grounded.    

The goal isn’t to stop stress- it’s to prepare you for it.

Tips for Creating a Stress Management Plan –that actually works!

Try these helpful tips for your own stress management plan:

• Keep an Anxiety Journal: Take time daily to jot down situations that made you feel anxious, what happened, how your body reacted, and the core feelings and triggers involved with each.  This is best done right after a stressful event for the most accurate results.

• Use a Daily Mood tracker: Apps, printables, or even spreadsheets can help you link patterns to triggers. You can even make your own! But you can’t find a pattern unless you track it!

• Set an “Anticipation Reminder”: Place sticky notes where you will see them (your mirror, your desk, your car) reminding you to pause and scan your body or thoughts when you feel tension.  You can even create check in notifications/alarms for yourself through the day to take a few minutes to become mindful of how your mind and body feel.

• Try a Morning Scan: When you wake up, ask yourself, “What’s happening today that may be hard for me?”  This gives you time to plan instead of panic.  You can also use our free Act Method worksheet download from this post to help you write it all out.

• Create a Self Care Kit: Pack a box or a small pouch with items that help you with your anxiety.  Check out my favorite self care must haves from Amazon here: 15 Amazon Must Haves Every Woman Needs for her Self Care Kit

Step 2: CREATE- Create Opportunities for Safe & Slow Growth

Facing your fears isn’t an episode of “Fear Factor”. 

Think of facing your fears like planting seeds.  You start in a safe and grounded space where you can encounter your fear.  With time and patience, and care, you will grow the confidence to face bigger challenges.

This is the foundation of desensitization therapy- slow and controlled exposure that helps you feel safe while working through your fears.

Panic attacks come from feelings of lack of control, a strong sense of fear, and the feeling of being unprepared.

Desensitization therapy will help you calm your emotions with slow and controlled exposure to your fears.

This type of therapy takes time and patience.  Don’t rush it and throw yourself into a situation that you do not feel in control of.  Slow and safe is the best way to overcome your fears.

Example: Afraid of Crowds?

• Sit in your car outside a store and listen to your favorite songs while you create stories about each person who enters the store.  Make it a fun game you look forward to playing.
• Walk to the entrance and back to your car.  Reward yourself each time you step on the welcome mat (not when you get into the car).  Don’t enter the store, just practice getting to the door until you feel it’s easy and you don’t need to be rewarded to do it.
• Step inside the store for 30 seconds.  Don’t engage with anyone.  Don’t force yourself to shop.  The goal is to walk in and walk out.  If it’s too loud for you, wear earbuds to play your favorite music. 
• Enlist your best and most supportive friend to help you shop in the store.  Make a goal of grabbing 1 item and using self checkout to leave.  Reward yourself for your hard work after you leave the store. Practice again and again until you feel you can grab 1 item from the store without the help of a friend.
• Enlist your bestie to do a small shopping trip. Increase the time spent in the store together.  Sometimes you buy things, sometimes you don’t.  Be sure to reward yourself for staying inside the store.  Target stores that have Starbucks are glorious rewards.  Drink your coffee and stroll around until you finish your specialty coffee. 

Each step you take builds a positive association with your fear and reinforces that you are safe. 

Try these simple steps to make desensitization therapy easier:

• Pick a Tiny Step Toward a Fear: Start with the easiest possible version of your fear and take small steps to progress slowly.
• Celebrate Your Small Wins: This is super important.  Your brain needs a reward to create positive associations for fears.  (Kids afraid of the dark get a stuffed animal to protect them and a night light to make it easier to see and feel safe.) Use a reward system that makes your brain feel good- stickers, treats, games, experiences, music or even a happy dance.
• Use tools to help you succeed: Create a self care kit with items to help you succeed.  Check out my favorites in my self care kit.
• Use Visualization: Imagine yourself completing a step before you do it.  Visualization helps your brain rehearse success. 
• Practice with a Buddy: Now is the time to grab your bestie and make it fun and safe.  Use your support system to help you work through a fear in safe, small doses. 
• Create a Desensitization ladder: Make a list of challenges from easiest to hardest, and work through them step by step.  Create Smart goals to help you succeed.

Step 3: Train- Train Your Brain to Build a More Positive Mindset

Positive thinking isn’t pretending everything is perfect.  Life isn’t like that.

True positive thinking is guiding your mind to see the good, even when things are tough.

Just like training a muscle, with practice, your thoughts can become more optimistic and resilient.

Try these positive thinking techniques:

1. Learn to think positive with the “Sandwich Method”

When a negative thought pops up, surround it with two positive truths.

• Negative Thought: “I’m terrible at this.”
• Positive Thought 1: “I enjoy learning new things.  It shows me how resilient I am.”
• Positive Thought 2: “Everyone starts as a beginner.  I am learning at my pace.”

The “Sandwich Method” is commonly used to give constructive criticism.  You can also use it for positive thinking. Nothing is purely good or bad.  It’s a blend.  You can say it’s a sandwich.

This technique helps you to reframe your mindset and to embrace self compassion.

Talk kindly to yourself and show yourself some love.  No one is perfect.

Tell yourself what a good job you’re doing. 

Tell yourself how proud you are for trying.

Tell yourself that you will feel better soon when you’re anxious.

You cannot show the world love if you cannot show it to yourself. 

This is my favorite positive thinking technique because it helps you see the light in every situation.

Positive thinking isn’t just thinking happy thoughts. It’s being able to experience negative emotions & thoughts, but also seeing the good with them, too. –We can’t see how wonderful the light is without the dark, right?-

2. Start a Gratitude Journal

Taking a few minutes daily to write your favorite moments and thankfulness for the day helps shift your focus from what is missing to what you love about life.

3. Incorporate Positive Affirmations

Affirmations are positive statements that can help challenge and control negative thoughts.

Affirmations bring hope to you when you are facing challenges.

Repeat these affirmations or some of your own to reinforce a positive self image.

4. Celebrate the Small Wins

Sometimes, it’s the small moments in life that bring the most joy.

That morning cup of coffee while your dogs play in the morning sun.

The pride in losing a pound, even though it was Thanksgiving.

And the delight of your dog sitting down for pets instead of jumping up. Give that good boy a treat, and do a happy dance, girl!

Each victory is worth celebrating.

Recognizing and appreciating these every day wins can significantly boost your positive thinking.

By focusing on these moments, you’re training your brain to seek positivity, which can help reduce anxiety and improve your overall mental health.

The Best Books On Positive Thinking

I love a good self-help book. And there are some wonderful texts by some amazing authors that will help you create positive thinking habits. Some are a workbook style, others are more clinical, and then there is just a fun and inspirational read.

Here are some of my favorite titles! These are available as E-books and they offer a few on Kindle Unlimited! Did I mention you can get a free trial and read for free!

🌸 Recommended Tools for Positive Thinking 🌸