The human brain handles all the complex neuro connections that make us human. Your brain is the container for the soul, love, and your sparkling personality.
It controls how we breathe, the speed of our heartbeat, how our senses react, and how we regulate our thoughts and emotions. Your brain is the supercomputer of the best creation ever made, YOU!
Your brain is subject to the environment you are in, just like the rest of our body. We stay in the water too long; we get soggy and gross. –Yup, we get raisin syndrome. And if we stay in it long enough, we feel like wet bread. EWW!–
When loving and accepting people surround us; we develop positive thinking about the world and ourselves. Negativity, hate, trauma, and grief surround us, and it will fill us with anxiety, depression, self-esteem issues, negative thoughts, and more.
This how to guide for positive thinking exercises was written by a former pessimist who used these methods to remove negative thoughts, and they can work for you too! -Have you guessed that the former pessimist in question is me yet?-
These tips to achieve a positive mindset will start you on your journey to positive thinking, happiness, and feeling grateful about your life, even if your past was not so bright.
This post includes:
- How stress changes your brain.
- How do I get a positive mindset with anxiety?
- How to Challenge Negative Thoughts
- The 3 Steps of the ACT Method for Positive Thinking
- Free Positive Thinking Worksheet to help manage Anxiety
- And Tips for Including Positive Thinking in Your Day.
How Stress Changes Your Brain To Be Anxious
My childhood was pretty great! I had great parents and amazing friends. But, I suffered a few traumas in my life. I survived a natural disaster, survived abuse from outside my home, and I survived my attempted murder during a home invasion.
Before, I was a happy, chatty, loving girl. But trauma changes you. It forces negative thinking (catastrophe thinking) to take a hold of your thoughts.
RELATED POST: How to Be Happy When You’re Living With PTSD
My formerly happy and hopeful brain adapted to my situation and helped me thrive in a hostile environment. My brain was trying to keep me alive. But trauma isn’t the only thing that can change your brain chemistry.
High-stress jobs, stay at home parents, and caregivers are prone to prolonged stress. Your brain can become stressed from finances, social media, body chemistry, poor nutrition, and so much more.
Do any of us live a low stress life in this modern age? Probably not unless you live off the grid. -Me thinking about moving to a no name place with lots of land and dozens of pups running around. –
When you become stressed, the brain adapts. It can cause you to have symptoms like:
- Sleep Issues
- Negative or Intrusive Thoughts
- Exaggerated Startle Response
- Mood Swings
- Body Aches
- More Frequent Illness
- and more!
RELATED POST: Why Do I Feel Numb Inside & Tips on How to Become Happy Again
How Do I Get a Positive Mindset with Anxiety
Maybe you have had some thoughts similar to these before?
- Why am I like this?
- Why can’t I do things right?
- Nobody loves me.
- I am fat and ugly.
- If I don’t get this done, my boss will fire me.
- My partner deserves better.
- I’m a burden to everyone.
- Everyone I know hates me.
These thoughts are just a few of the negative thoughts that can come from your overstimulated brain. Let’s learn how to fight negative thinking and ease your stress together.
*If you are having suicidal or homicidal thoughts, please contact your Mental Health Care team or local Emergency Department. These thoughts are not normal and warrant IMMEDIATE treatment.* You can find mental health hotline numbers on the resource page. Please take care of yourself. YOU ARE WORTH IT!
How to Fight Negative Thinking
Your thoughts are purely a chemical reaction to hormones released into your body when you experience stress. These chemicals flood the body so you can react to stimulus. Yup, that’s right, the good old Fight or Flight Response.
Our ancient ancestors needed the flight or fight response to react to danger in their environment. Think of predators and environmental hazards that could kill them.
Our species developed so much, yet our fight or flight response is still pretty primitive. And it’s this response that overreacts to stressors that are not really threatening our lives.
- Facing a deadline causes excessive stress.
- Holidays are stressful because we feel rushed and overwhelmed.
- We get road rage when we are in traffic because we feel trapped.
- We end relationships when we feel vulnerable to another person and are uncomfortable pushing through.
Instead of communicating properly, we yell and become aggressive so “the threat” will end, and the cause of our stress will go away from us.
None of these things will kill us, but we are putting space between us and our stressors, so our brains will relax and stop the flood of stressful hormones. We are purely reacting to situations instead of solving he problem.
Ever get out of a long line that’s making you mad? That is a flight reaction. Ever yell at someone when you can’t take anymore? That’s the fight reaction.
You are not your thoughts. Make a choice to stop and take a breath and break down your thoughts. You’ll find that you really weren’t in real danger, but you were just reacting to a stressful situation.
You’ll be turning your brain from reactive to proactive!
This is how you slowly retrain your brain toward positive thoughts and you create a new, more positive attitude.
RELATED POST: 8 Simple Calming Techniques You Need to Ease Anxiety & PTSD
Positive Thinking Exercises For Anxiety
I hope you enjoy these positive thinking exercises. If you have questions, leave them for me in the comments or email me!
What is the A.C.T Method
When I was a positive reinforcement dog trainer with local rescues, I used the A.C.T. method to train my pups to make better choices. -Yeah, yeah. I know you’re not a dog but hear me out! It will be worth it!-
After my traumas, I was a mess. I was an E.R. frequent flyer for a fast heart rate. -At one point it was so bad I was referred to a cardiologist!- So I got the advice of a psychiatrist and a therapist. But my panic attacks continued to where I was agoraphobic, aka fearful of people and crowds.
My solace was the dogs that I was training. Their anxieties were slowly turning into confidence. Then it hit me. Why couldn’t I do the same for myself?
Born of positive reinforcement training, I used the A.C.T. Method to help me conquer my panic attacks and create positive associations with my triggers, just like I was doing for the dogs in my care.
It just so happens that this method also works when I have panic attacks and PTSD flare ups. This method helps me prepare my body and my brain for the potential stressors by creating new opportunities for me to learn.
RELATED POST: What is Self Care & Why Self Care Is Important for Women
Grab your Free Positive Thinking Worksheet PDF
Before we jump into how you can start thinking positively, download this FREE printable so you can follow along from anywhere. This worksheet helps you use the ACT Method for your anxiety!
ANTICIPATE – How to Manage Stress
A negative brain automatically jumps into “what ifs” and “catastrophe” thinking. How do we get rid of these negative thoughts? We simplify!!
Overwhelmed brains are not prone to use positive thinking exercises. You need to simply the process for positive thinking exercises to work for you.
Creating a Stress Management Plan
When we are in elementary school, we learn to write through repetition. We learn in tiny steps to write individual letters. As we progress, we pair these letters together to form the words we will write all our lives.
Most of us do not learn best by jumping off into the deep in. We learn in steps.
After my traumas, the stress of “diving in” turned me into a hermit. Fear paralyzed me. There were too many unknowns that kept me trapped in anxiety.
By creating a stress management plan, I was able to learn skills that would help me succeed, create a support system, and make smaller achievable goals to help keep me motivated.
Short and smaller tasks helped me gain confidence. I learned to manage my environment. I practiced until I was comfortable. With time, I became the positive and independent woman I am today! And so will you.
Related Post: How to Create Smart Goals When You’re Stressed
How to Keep a Positive Thinking Journal
It genuinely surprised me about the simple things that created negative emotions.
You’re going to want to grab a journal for this next part.
Why? Because studies have shown that writing about your anxiety reduces it!
I am love with this Erin Condren journal!
With it’s thick paper and durable binding and cover, it’s a must have for taking notes!
How to Identify Core Triggers
In this journal, you will write about what causes you to feel unpleasant.
You want all those details out of your body and on the page.
Break it down even further by asking: who, what, when, where, how, & why.
Examples of Identifying Your Core Triggers
- I get angry when someone yells at me.
- Why are you angry? I feel hurt.
- Why do you feel hurt? I feel unloved and unimportant.
- Feeling unloved and unimportant is your core trigger!!
I’ll do one more.
- I hate Toyota.
- Why do I hate them? A man who raped me drove a Toyota.
- Why does the Toyota trigger you? They picked me up in the Toyota. I had to ride back home in it after my rape. I felt trapped in it.
- Feeling trapped is a core trigger for me.
Yelling is probably not a core trigger, but how it makes you feel. I do not feel my core emotions at concerts, stadiums, and cheering for teams, but if I am in bed and hear yelling, I feel a core emotion and become triggered. It’s your core emotions that matter. For me, yelling heard when I am in bed causes me to feel trapped. While yelling at concerts causes me to feel excitement.
Keep asking questions until you have broken it down to a core feeling. Your core feelings are your true triggers. By knowing that feeling trapped upsets you, you can take simple steps for prevention.
RELATED POST: The Signs of Being Triggered & 3 Ways to Conquer Anxiety In Your Life
Get Positive Thinking Help by Creating a Support System
Humans are social animals. We live in groups, eat in groups, work in groups, and most of us play in groups. We love getting together! When we’re alone, we have anxiety and depression. Being social is in our DNA!
So why do we keep trying to go it alone? Society pressures us into being a powerhouse. If our ancestors had this mentality, we would be extinct. Why? Social creatures do better in life!
We live in a society where we depend on one another. And humans are THRIVING! Most of us wouldn’t be able to eat the foods we love today, decorate in fun cultural styles, travel to amazing exotic locations, online groups, team sports, and more!!!
Here are a few benefits of having a support system from the Mayo Clinic.
- Improve your coping skills
- Alleviate Symptoms of Stress
- Better Long Term Mental Health
- Better Self Esteem
- Improved Health
- Healthier Lifestyle
In your journal, take a moment to write down the people who will help you succeed. It’s important for you to have people you can rely on when you feel insecure, scared, and need support.
If you need some help with ideas, here is a worksheet to help you identify people to include.
Create- How to Train Your Mind to Be Positive
You will thrive if you create opportunities for yourself. Set yourself up for success and break down your goals into achievable steps.
You’re allowed to take a smaller step. Failure helps you see what you need to work on. You can use your support system until your confidence grows. Keep practicing until you get it right!
How to Overcome Your Fears with Desensitization
Panic attacks come from feeling a complete lack of control and a strong sense of fear. Desensitization will help you calm your strong emotions with SLOW & controlled exposure to your fears.
If you have mild anxiety, you can probably try desensitization on your own, but I recommend adding a DR or therapist to your self care plan for stronger fears.
Desensitization takes time and patience. You can’t just have a fear of spiders and expect yourself to jump into a pit of them without consequences and a heart attack. It doesn’t work like that. Slow and safe is the way to do it.
Example of Desensitization
I would give you $100 to open a book and look at a picture of a spider. We will keep doing this routine of payment for looking until you enjoy it. You’re welcome to close the book at anytime, but when you look at the photo, you’ll receive a reward. The goal is to get you excited to hear about looking at spiders in books.
Next, we’d take it to a safe place and look at real spiders, like the zoo. All behind glass, 100% safe, and for your reward, I would give you $500 dollars for each spider that you look at because you are in a real situation. Eventually, being closer to spiders will be very rewarding for you.
That’s how desensitization works.
You get rewarded for facing your fears and start creating positive associations with your fears.
- Reward yourself for following through on your anxiety.
- Create safe instances for you to practice.
- Don’t do too much too soon. Less is better at first.
For more information on how to desensitization works, please read this related post.
RELATED POST: How to Overcome Your Fears with Desensitization
Train- Positive Thinking Habits
Positive thinking is more than just flipping a switch and going from a negative Nancy to a positive mindset. It’s just another goal you need to break down! Here are my personal positive thinking habits!
You need to:
- See positives and negatives.
- Start simplifying
- Start practicing habits for your mental health.
- Read books to help you thrive.
Overcoming Negative Thoughts
You need to fight those negative thoughts this simple positive thinking exercise. It’s called the Sandwich Method.
For every negative thought, you have to create 2 positive thoughts.
Challenging Negative Thoughts Practice Exercise Example
- Negative Thought: I am worthless.
- Positive Thought: I am having a hard time right now, but I am doing my best. Things will improve over time.
- My emotions do not define me. They come and go with the ups and downs of my life.
Talk kindly to yourself and give yourself some love.
Tell yourself what a good job I did when you clean and how you made your life a little healthier.
Tell yourself how proud you are when you get a shower on a depressed day.
When you’re anxious, tell yourself you will feel better soon.
You cannot show the world love if you can’t show it to yourself.
This is my favorite of the positive thinking exercises because it helps me see the light in every situation, no matter how bleak.
Enjoying the Small Things Promotes Positive Thinking
Enjoy the little things.
Revel in that cup of coffee in the morning that wakes you up!
That 1lb you lost is amazing and you are one step closer to your goal!
Your dog sits instead of jumping on you? Give that boy a treat! And do a happy dance.
Every step is worth celebrating and will help you master positive thinking!
Every little step toward positivity helps you get one step closer to a positive mindset.
Start celebrating the little things and you will see the world can be filled with love, light, and laughter.
RELATED POST: How to Attract Positivity in Life in 5 Easy Steps
Change Your Lifestyle to Promote Mental Health
You can’t keep bad habits and expect positive results.
You need to create a lifestyle that promotes a healthy mindset.
Making small changes can help you take the small steps you need to succeed.
This related post has all the habits that you need for a positive mindset. Check it out for help making your positive thinking self care plan.
RELATED POST: 20 Healthy Mindset Habits You Need to Improve Your Anxiety
Best Positive Thinking Books to Grow Self Esteem
I love a good self-help book. And there are some wonderful texts by some amazing authors that will help you create positive thinking habits. Some are a workbook style, others are more clinical, and then there is just a fun and inspirational read.
Here are some of my favorite titles! These are available as E-books and they offer a few on Kindle Unlimited! Did I mention you can get a free trial and read for free!
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne
The Positive Thinking Workbook by Alexa Brand MS LMFT
Confidence and Self Love Workbook for Women by Robert Sanders
These are just a few of the books that have helped me conquer my anxiety and depression, and promote positive thinking. Not only have they helped me heal from trauma, but they set me back on the path to positive thinking. They have helped me take back my life, have a positive mindset, and feel confident again by helping me conquer my inner demons.
My Final Thoughts about Positive Thinking Exercises
Positive thinking will not happen overnight. It takes practice and patience to learn to overcome your anxiety.
But by including these positive thinking exercises in your self care plan, you can retrain your brain for positivity.
To be successful, you’ll need to:
- Anticipate your stressors by journaling
- Create a self care plan with smart goals
- Train your brain to perfect positive thinking
Positive thinking is possible for anxious brains!
What positive thinking exercises do you want to try? Leave a comment and tell me!
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These are great ideas. I deal with anxiety and depression from past experiences. I’ve learned that I’m the one who has to deal with my emotions. Thank you for the post. I’m looking forward to reading more.
Fantastic, informative and extremely helpful! Thank you!
Great blog! I needed this today.
This post is excellent. You have given a very extensive list of tips and resources that can help anyone to achieve a positive mindset. Mental health conditions are an epidemic and the more equipped we are the better the chances of improvement. Thank you very much.
So beautifully written! Sharing first hand experience of making such a life changing shift will help motivate so many people.
I am not my THOUGHTS! Love this post, just what I need. Thanks
So many helpful tips, and the one I especially like is this one “For every negative thought you have, say 3 positive ones.” and will see if I can get my husband to do this.
That really helped me. It’s not that I don’t have negative thoughts, and I banish them to another world, but I also try to find ways to look on the bright side as well.
As a therapist, I teach ACT a lot. Great tips on using it at home!
I love this method!! I learned it training dogs 😂 but it worked so great I used it for myself!
Wow!! This is super helpful and the depth of your research is excellent. Really shows in your writing. Thanks for sharing your experience with us. 💝
Such a wonderful and in depth post. I love how you speak from your personal experiences. All of these positive thinking hacks are great! Thank you for sharing them!
I love these hacks! I used to hate the frequent negative thoughts I had, and then a friend told me that my brain is created that way to keep me safe. These things that are threats, the brain focuses on to ensure I am safe, that is the brain doing its job. Now I appreciate the brain doing its job, even though the negative thoughts can still be hard to take, but it was a great mind shift of perspective for me. Thanks for these great positive thinking hacks!
Wow, soooo much good here! I absolutely love the idea of a stress journal! I’m all about journaling but have never considered journaling in this way. It will be such a good way to provide clarity so I can better anticipate stress. It’s scary what stress can do to our health, but so encouraging that there’s so much in our control about how we respond to stress! Wonderful post 🙂
Positive thinking works wonders for your health and productivity. I like how you mentioned that even small steps like losing 1lb mean your a little closer to your goal. I’ve really been focusing on celebrating the small wins and being grateful for everything I accomplish.
Wonderful post! It’s true that we are not our thoughts, so I’m glad you mentioned these words of wisdom. Overall, this is such a great mental health resource, so thank you for sharing it!
This pandemic has been so hard, on everyone. We can all benefit from these tips.
Great post! Love the stress journal idea!
This for me was a huge helper! I didn’t realize what tiny things were effecting my mood until I wrote them down! Now I am a more relaxed journal keeper, as I only need it if it will not leave my mind at bedtime.
Loved this well written and detailed post, some awesome tips
Thank you for this in-depth post! It was really informative and helpful. You did a great job writing and researching this.
great read and something I needed right now to manifest my future moves
Finding the silver lining in situations that don’t turn out as planned is so helpful, especially when others around you immediately have a negative reaction. Thank you for these great tips!
Great post! I work in my cozy electric recliner with a desk that swivels over my lap so that I can sit with my little bald Sphynx on my lap and put my heated blanket over both of us. It definitely helps me feel cozy… and actually productive. Looking forward to your next post!
I have a huge overstuffed chair that I sit with my pups in!!
THIS ENTIRE POST!!! GOLD! You did such a fantastic job writing this and sharing a lot of helpful tips. Thank you for this 💕
Thanks so much! I am so glad it’s helpful!!