How to Stop Feeling Empty & Start Living a Full Life Again

“She's so lucky she's a star. But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking if there's nothing missing in my life then why do these tears come at night?”

Lyrics to “Lucky” by Britney Spears

I have never related to a song so much in my life. I am so blessed. There's not a thing about my life that I would change, well, except bills. So why do I feel empty inside?

I seem to have it all. I am married to a wonderful husband. We're financially stable, are in stable health, and have a loving and happy family. From the outside looking in, I am blessed.

But being blessed doesn't insulate you from feeling numb, depressed, anxious, or feeling like something in your life is missing. Yes, you can seem to have it all together and still feel empty.

This happened to me. I felt empty inside, but by taking a look inward, I found what was missing… it was me.

I wrote this post to help you overcome that empty feeling through these exercises of self discovery. No. You're not ungrateful. You're not selfish.

This post covers:

  • What exactly is that empty feeling?
  • The 9 reasons why you feel so empty
  • and my personal favorite tips to recover from emptiness
How To Stop Feeling Empty Inside1
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The Definition of Feeling Empty

If you’re like me, you have said or thought the following:

  • Why do I feel empty?
  • Why do I feel numb?
  • I am so blessed. Why do I feel something is missing?
  • I have such a good life. Why am I not happy?
  • I must be ungrateful. I’m so blessed but I need more.
  • I just wish I could feel happy again.
  • Feeling nothing is so much worse than feeling feeling sad. I just want to feel again.

We all go through periods of emotional numbness or “feeling empty”. But what does that mean?

Feeling empty inside means that your emotions are suppressed or blocked. To become happy again, you have to find the reason behind your sudden emotional numbness.

What Causes Empty Feelings?

Feeling empty happens for many reasons: trauma, illness, stress, and life changes.

Once you identify the why of your feelings then you can begin the healing process and make small changes to help overcome your emotional block.

Woman Adjusting To An Unbusy Lifestyle So She Can Stop Feeling Numb Inside- Why Do I Feel Empty Inside &Amp; Tips On How To Become Happy Again

You've been so busy all your life that you feel empty without it.

Okay, so you're an adult and life keeps you busy. Your life is filled to the brim with responsibilities, work, pets, hobbies, kids, bills, deadlines, emails, and on and on.

But what happens when you have a sudden and major shift in your life? Now I'm not talking about going on vacation. No.

Maybe your kids have left the nest, you got a better paying job and don't have to work as much anymore, or you have just found the secret to being “un-busy” and have left all the hectic paces behind. –If you do find the secret to being unbusy, I want in too!-

Sudden shifts in your life make you feel empty. Remember that feeling that your missing something when you skip a step in your morning routine? Multiple that by 1000!

When your routine and schedule change, you feel lost and empty. Like something is missing in life.

It is perfectly normal to feel empty, lost, or even confused when you suddenly find yourself in a sudden change of routine. Take the time to create a new normal and give yourself some grace while you adjust.

Hey lady, I get it. Society has told us to stomp that gas pedal and never stop going. But is that really good for you in the long run? No.

We're not built to run 24/7.

Slowing down can be a good thing!

We have physical and emotional needs. And chances are if you're trying to stuff your schedule full, you're not taking the time to care for your needs. –Admit it, as a woman, we tend to put ourselves last and forgo our own self care.

Tips for Adjusting to Your New Routine

  • Show yourself some kindness. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Allow yourself to soak in the moment and enjoy a nice cup of coffee and watch the pups play. –If you buy me a cup of coffee, I'll enjoy the moment with you!-
  • Take this new time to discover your favorite hobbies! Do you need inspiration? Check out Skillshare and explore thousands of classes to inspire your creative side!
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  • Allow yourself to feel the unease. Adjusting takes time. When big changes happen, our routine gets lost in the shuffle. Take a moment. Breathe. And remember that you will get the hang of your new routine. It's not wrong to have free time. It's a good thing!
  • Create a new routine! Girl! This is your chance to shine! Re-engage in the healthy habits you lost in the chaos, schedule time in your day for some oh so needed self care, and get to know yourself again! Because honey, you are fabulous! Go out there and seduce your partner all over again and create new sparks in your relationship, just like when you first met! The point is it's your chance to recreate your life how you want it to be. Go grab it!

You aren't feeling challenged.

As intelligent creatures, we crave mental stimulation. Because honestly, boredom is a bitch!

You know this feeling that no matter what you do, you just can't seem to stimulate and entertain yourself.

This is the time to add some metaphorical spice to your life- take on a challenge!

When we sit in our comfort zone for too long, we can experience boredom and feel like we're stuck in a rut. To move forward, we must engage in growth.

How to Add New Challenges to Your Life & Conquer Boredom

Ladies, here are my favorite boredom busters!

  • Take your passion and grow it into a business! Honey, your passion would make a perfect blog! Whether you just blog on the weekends or your want to grow your blog to a business, a blog will help you share your story with others. –Like me, hidden in this blog are snippets of my story!- Maybe your are not a writer, but no matter what you love, you can create a nice side hustle with it!
  • Take on weekly, monthly or yearly challenges! Challenges can be so much fun. I learned photography by participating in a yearly challenge. –I loved it so much I stuck around for 5 years, and it inspired me to master photography!- My favorite place to find interesting challenges is Pinterest. I love challenges so much, I created a Challenges Board for inspiration.
Woman Rips Open Curtains And Is Ready To Challenge Her Day- Why Do I Feel Empty
Get out of your comfort zone and take on a challenge!

You don't feel important.

Feeling forgotten or taken for granted triggers emptiness.

It's the re-actions of our friends and family that trigger this feeling, but you are forgetting something very important.

You don't have to be the star of life's movie to be an important character.

Read this again. Cause it's so important.

Just like a great movie, there is a main character and many great supporting characters. And sometimes those supporting characters are the most important. –Where would Harry Potter be without Ron and Hermione?-

Your importance isn't weighed by how much attention you receive. It's your impact.

When your mechanic does his job right, your car needs less problem solving maintenance; not more. Same goes for you!

You may be the person for someone that will give them an honest opinion, has a kind word, or you are their support system. You might just be the face they look forward to seeing everyday.

You never know how much you matter because you cannot read minds.

In my role as a military wife and mom, I have a very important job of supporting my family so they can rise to their challenges. I am rarely in the spotlight.

Being happily married to a soldier means that, for many years, my big goals and dreams have been on hold so I can support my soldier. And now that his time serving is almost through and my daughter is entering adulthood, I can step forward and start shining a little more.

Fulfilling my role in my family means I don't always stand out. But it's doesn't mean that I am not important.

When my husband got his promotion, he gave me flowers and did a big speech to his coworkers that none of it would have been possible without me. I was flabbergasted. I didn't realize how important I had been to his success.

Those little trivial things I had done that I thought weren't important helped him feel confident enough that he could focus on his career goal while being a loving husband and father.

So a shout out to all the supporting characters in life who make life easier!

Tips for Feeling Important:

  • If you feel you are being taken advantage of, have a conversation with your loved one and tell them what you need to feel loved and appreciated. Many times our loved ones get so caught up in being busy they forget to slow down and appreciate others. Everyone needs a gentle reminder to be more appreciative from time to time. Remember: no one is a mind reader. You cannot be sure your loved ones know yours unless you tell them.
  • Show your appreciation to others as well. You never know who appreciates your kindness. I love telling strangers what I love about their outfits, saying thank you to anyone and everyone who makes my life easier, and making genuine conversation as I go about my day. Somewhere there are strangers that are rooting for you and wish you well!
  • Volunteering can help you reconnect and feel appreciated again. Visiting the elderly or patients without family will spread love. Fostering a pup can help you feel like what you are doing matters. Babysit the children of busy parents and watch the stress melt from their faces. Kindness triggers dopamine. Dopamine makes you happy. Happy people feel loved and appreciated. –Okay, be honest, did anyone else read that in Reece Witherspoon's Legally Blonde voice?-
  • Learn about your own love language and how you need to feel appreciated. Sometimes the way we need to be shown love changes as we do. Get to know yourself and discover what you need in your life to feel love and appreciated.

Me?

I have changed love languages so many times it hurts. I started as a words of affirmations girl, went to gifts, and now I am a acts of service girl.

Your experiences change you.

Get to know yourself and how your emotional cup likes to be filled with this amazing book!

Why is this book important? Love isn't expressed the same in every individual.

When you start to see how your loved ones show their love to you, even if it's not in your preferred love language, your emotional cup will still get filled.

Woman Sitting On Couch Not Feeling Important- Why Do I Feel Numb Inside &Amp; Tips On How To Become Happy Again
Feeling ignored can leave you feeling empty.

Your Compromising Yourself to Fit Into Society's Social Model

Our society is full of opinions –yes, they're opinions and not facts- about how to live an ideal life.

For the “ideal life”, society deems we marry, have 2.5 kids –at least-, work ourselves to the bone while also simultaneously raising a perfect family.

If you're a woman, you also have to adhere to society's beauty standards, which are impossible to reach.

And men, well, they are supposed to be workaholics who don't have emotions, but also be romantic with their women.

It also demands we keep our schedule busy from sun up to sun down, and sacrifice our happiness to fit in.

Society standards aren't rules to be followed. You are allowed to choose the life you want to live, the one that makes you happy.

Life is not a “one size fits all” scenario. And it is exhausting trying to shove your amazing self into society's tiny box.

We are so blessed to have a variety of different people who want to have a different life.

There are women and men who are working to progress medical science.

We have stay at home parents of all sexes now.

Women can also have those high power careers now, opt out of having children and have pets instead, and take charge in life.

Men can be emotional and still be strong, be stay at home parents, and be the supportive and loving stability of a relationship.

We have people who are living their dreams, and accepting that society doesn't always know what is best for them.

By accepting your true self, you are accepting your wants, wishes, hopes and dreams. You are embracing yourself and you can take steps to working toward what you want in life.

There is nothing that we can't do when we accept our true self.

Tips for Living Your Life, Your Way:

You do not have to live up to society's ideal version.

You get to choose your version of a blessed life. It's your life, not anyone else's. Live it so you're happy!

  • Stop pretending. Pretending is for chameleons, not humans. Living a lie is exhausting. You will never need to pretend to be something your not with your tribe. Honey, embrace your quirks. Stop trying to squeeze yourself into a tiny box that is ugly and doesn't fit. You are amazing just as you are! You do not have to pretend to be someone you're not to be loved. Acceptance doesn't guarantee happiness, but living a life you love does!
  • Stop allowing the opinion of others to dictate your decision. Learn to set boundaries and embrace your own thoughts, feelings, wants and needs. Start making choices that work toward your goals (and your shared goals with your partner) that move your toward your dream and improve your life.
Woman Celebrating In The Afternoon Sun In A Field Of Sunflowers- How To Stop Feeling Empty Inside
Kick out those outdated society standards and start living your own life.

You don't like yourself.

We all want to fit in. Who doesn't?

But by pretending to be, like, and feel things you aren't; all you're truly doing is creating your own kind of personal hell.

Yes, it might be easier to put on a step-ford housewife persona and blend into suburbia. But if deep in your heart you're a southern farm girl (cough cough, me) who wants to live away from the hustle and bustle and raise chickens and dogs. You're not living your best life.

Yup. This was me too. I tried so hard to be the perfect wife, perfect mother, and run a perfect home I completely lost who I was in the process.

Tips for Learning to Love Yourself

I use to “fake it until I made it” to fit into groups of people that were accepted. But I really felt a deep depression that no one knew the real me. No one knew what I really loved, felt, or experienced. I just always felt that I did not fit in.

In truth, I was holding myself back. It was how I was different that made me special.

By accepting that I learned not only to like myself, but found people that liked me. My life feels much fuller and rich by truly enjoying myself and the people that love me for my uniqueness.

But learning to love yourself won't happen in a day. Here's how I did it.

Grab a self love workbook.

Now hear me out. Lots of us don't feel comfortable opening up to strangers. Who better to open yourself up to, but yourself? It's easier to start inward and start learning to love yourself vs having others learning to love you.

Women need real moments of solitude and self reflection to balance our how much of ourselves we give away.

Barbara De Angelis

When you focus on self love, you can grow into a stronger version of the woman that you want to be. You might just come out wiser, more resilient, and confident.

Keep a Journalhere try mine!

Having a record to look back on and learn from will help you progress as you go. And therapists LOVE when patients take charge and start getting out of their head.

Young Blonde Woman In Pink Top Laughing
- How To Stop Feeling Empty- Learn To Be Yourself
Self love helps you love yourself.

Your Mental Health is Suffering.

When your mental health is off, you start feeling numb to your surroundings. It's very hard to appreciate your life when you feel numb inside .

Tips for Healing Your Mental Health

Whether you need self care, medication, therapy, or psychiatric help; prioritizing your mental health can help you feel positive again and appreciating your blessed life in no time.

  • Engage in positive habits to help prep your mind and body for positive changes.
  • Get hobbies to improve your mental health. Having an escape will help you refocus.
  • Lean on your support system and allow them to help you through it.
  • Get help from your mental health professionals. Admitting that you need help is a strength, not a weakness.
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You are Not Chasing Your Passion.

We all have experienced jobs we hate. They zap our energy fast and leave us feeling empty and numb in our life. It becomes a chore to get out of bed and start the day. We feel our lives have become meaningless.

While not everyone can navigate a big career change in their lives; you can pursue your passion!

Start that dream garden, volunteer your time and work with pups that need help, or start a blog and start writing!

I volunteered with local dog rescues to help train foster dogs for their new lives. In later years, I started photographing rescue pups to help them get adopted. And now I have a blog to help others with their mental health. I am a woman of many loves and passions, so I dabble in all of them and really live a blessed life now.

Adding your passion to your day will give you a reason to look forward to your day. It may even give you the confidence to make big changes!

Tips to Follow Your Dreams Even When The Time Isn't Right

  • Start hobbies and activities that help you in the long run.
  • Take a class to help you improve your skills.
  • Volunteer with others to learn more about your passion.
  • Join groups to make friends with like minded people.
  • Start small at home projects to help develop your process.
  • Follow social media accounts that align with your long term goals for inspiration.
&Quot;It'S Not My Work, It'S My Passion&Quot; Being Uncovered- Why Do I Feel Empty Inside?

You're Feeling Lonely.

Face it, making friends as an adult isn't as easy as it is as a child. Back then, all we needed was to go to class together. Some of us are truly blessed to find true friends through work. I was not one of them.

We're a military family, which means every few years, we move. And we've done this 5+ times now. Each time, I have to get new (in person) friends.

Tips to Heal Loneliness

Some of my best friendships have come from joining groups with interests similar to mine.

In our last city, I tried Dungeons & Dragons. I wanted a weekly outing that involved people and having free fun. Well, the free part turned out not to be true as I started buying a surplus of snacks for the games -I should have known as I love to snack!-, but the friends that I made are some of my most cherished. We still get together each week virtually to chat and play.

I have made friends through volunteering with dog rescue groups, church activities, local neighborhood get activities, Facebook groups, and even made friends by creating a doggie playgroup for my new puppy.

A blessed life should always include good friends!

  • Just because you don't live near someone, doesn't mean you can't be friends.
  • Join some facebook groups and engage with people with the same interests as you.
  • Get a pet! A fun pet always helps you feel less alone.
  • Visit the elderly. You help relieve their loneliness too. And they never say no to a visit.
  • Create your own network of friends. Find people that share your interests, your needs, your wants, and your journey. Those people are your tribe!
  • Grab your copy of “Here to Make Friends” and learn how you can make lasting friendships.

I wish I had this book when we first started moving around. This is a workbook that helps you navigate the waters of making friends, identifying healthy relationships with friends, and how to meet new friends!

This book has sections to help introverts and extroverts make friends. As well as many exercises to help you create lasting, healthy, and strong friendships.

Woman Alone Trying To Ease Her Numbness- Why Do I Feel Empty Inside

You're Stressed and Need a Break to Reduce The Overwhelm.

Even the most positive of us get stressed. And with all the tragedy and heartache in the world, we're bound to feel drained and empty.

It's when we're feeling empty that we need to love ourselves the most.

Self care will help you reduce the overwhelm and help you feel better again.

Tips to Reduce Stress and Overwhelming Feelings

When I am feeling excessively stressed, I take a sabbatical. I ditch social media and the news. “Ignorance is bliss” is a saying for a reason. I take a day(s) off work to clear my mind and reduce my stress levels. Getting away from my stressors helps me refocus on feeling good.

On my self care day, I partake of some of my favorite hobbies for stress relief!

And mine involves power tools!! It's like getting your anger and frustration out, but in a safe and acceptable manner. I repurpose and repaint furniture, which can require sanding, drilling, cutting boards, power spraying, and more! After a day of working with my hands, I feel happy and tired.

On terrible days when I have less physical energy, I play video games. My favorite game that helps me relax –and is super cute- is Stardew Valley. The cute animals and simple graphics help me destress. Farm and building games really mellow me out so I can get away from the overwhelming feelings.

I always end my day with a hot bath filled with epsom salt soak and lavender essential oil to help soothe my senses and help promote a restful sleep.

Stressed Woman On Couch Trying Stress Relief Tips And Self Care- Why Do I Feel Empty
Too much stress can cause feelings of numbness and have us asking “Why do I feel so empty?”

Feeling numb and empty in your life is a sign that something needs to change. Whether that means you need to express your needs, take a break, or spend time with loved ones. Remember to take time to love yourself.

What does feeling numb inside signify to you? Tell me in the comments!
How To Be Happy Again When You Feel Empty Inside- Tips For Feeling Happy When You Are Feeling Numb Inside

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Krystian Howe
Krystian Howehttps://withloveandfluffs.com
Hi! I'm Krystian. The Creator of With Love, Me. I created this blog for others like myself: people living with anxiety disorder on a daily basis. I have been living with anxiety since my teens. This blog is to give you a how to guide for living with anxiety, because I sure didn't have one. I want to save you the pain and misery I had of figuring it out all on my own. Join me and my service dog Koda on the journey to help you manage your anxiety. See you on the blog and our socials!
Krystian Howe
Hi! I'm Krystian. The Creator of With Love, Me. I created this blog for others like myself: people living with anxiety disorder on a daily basis. I have been living with anxiety since my teens. This blog is to give you a how to guide for living with anxiety, because I sure didn't have one. I want to save you the pain and misery I had of figuring it out all on my own. Join me and my service dog Koda on the journey to help you manage your anxiety. See you on the blog and our socials!
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  1. This is such a powerful article. Sometimes we look and see everything we ever thought we wanted. But do we really want it? Or, as you said, society told us so? It’s so important to let go of others’ opinion and find what really makes us happy. Thank you for sharing this inspiring article 🙂

  2. This post is so relatable! one of the biggest contributors is living societys dream. im slowing coming to terms that what i want for myself doesnt necessarily match the norm and thats ok

  3. This article is spot on. The majority of what you say resonates with me, especially the part about living our life based on society’s dream, not ours, and how we all want to fit in. I feel like I’ve been fighting this my entire life. I want to live my version of a blessed life, but I keep running into people, especially family members, who don’t get it and make me feel ungrateful. But, in the end, I decided and accepted that it’s fine not to be understood by everyone. They can’t understand my desires because they aren’t theirs. The important thing is that I live my life the way I want to, and I don’t need others to approve of my choices.

  4. This is a fantastic article! For me, it’s most definitely my life is society’s dream, not mine. The past 6 months I have been working constantly to follow my passions while working a job full time and it can be pretty exhausting. But I’m doing the best I can and making progress, even if it’s just a little, every day. Thanks so much for sharing this!

  5. Great post! I can relate to several of these as the pandemic was affecting my health. I recently had a wake-up call from God that made me realize I need to start living so I can get back to some sense of normalcy. I needed to read these tips and start striving for the positive mindset I have always had before. Thank you for sharing!

  6. For me feeling empty means feeling lonely, especially since the pandemic. But things are getting better and I actually went out and got myself a small part-time job in a kitchen store. And I love it! I get to meet and chat to people. Just what I needed. Great post, thanks for sharing!

  7. What an encouraging post! I love your point about making sure we are challenging ourselves and opening ourselves up to new experiences. This will really help us to feel more alive, present, and fulfilled 🙂

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